


Penguin Suit

by james



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: Angst, Animal Transformation, M/M, Penguin angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:12:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil has lost Clint and is trying to find him again.  He discovers along the way that penguins smell bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penguin Suit

Phil stared at the enclosure, refraining from holding his hand over his nose. Two more minutes and he was going to get an airmask from supply.

"Which one is he?" Natasha asked, walking up behind him. Then, "Oh my god. What's that stench?"

"That stench is...them." Phil waved a hand towards the enclosure and immediately regretted speaking, as it had meant _inhaling._

"I always thought penguins were supposed to be cute," Natasha said, doubtfully.

"They still are. If you can't smell them, they're adorable."

At that, one of the penguins popped its head up from where the penguins had all been waddling back and forth like trained militia. Phil couldn't swear that the penguins _weren't_ trained, but it so far hadn't solved his problem.

The penguin gazing at him now, blinking its round blue eyes at him, was possibly -- he hoped -- going to solve the first problem.

"Clint?" he asked, hesitantly. He'd already picked one penguin up, certain it was their missing archer, and had been pooped on, bitten, and had dropped the bird on the floor, not sorry at all when it had landed on its butt, squawking at him loudly.

He hadn't wanted to repeat his error any more often than strictly necessary -- which was to say, never. His suit was already trashed; he'd never get the smell out, not to mention the smear of penguin poop that was ground into one knee after chasing the penguins down and corralling them into this make-shift pen in the first place.

The penguin was still staring at him, bobbing its head slightly.

"Barton?" Phil tried again, and the penguin blinked and lost interest in Phil, in favor of a piece of what all the penguins clearly thought was food. It wasn't, but it made Phil think maybe they should be feeding the things before they decided to break free and get thoroughly lost inside the base.

Then the penguin made a squeaking noise and waddled over. Phil looked at it dubiously, glancing over at Natasha, who shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I don't suppose we can look for the mole on his left buttock?"

Phil sighed. "I somehow doubt that will work." He crouched down to penguin-level and looked the penguin in the eye. There was definitely a sign of intelligence there, but Phil had thought that about the first two and neither of them had shape-changed back into an Avenger.

The second hadn't even shape-changed back into a human, and now two junior S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were chasing down a frightened pig, running through the hallways. Phil reached over and tried patting the penguin on its head, but, really, that told him nothing.

Phil sighed and debated actually picking the thing up, further ruining his suit, and risking yet another failed attempt at finding and re-transforming Clint. As he reached down, the penguin made a dash back to the pack, and within a second Phil had lost track of the penguin in the group.

"Definitely as frustrating as Barton," Natasha observed. "Why can't we just zap them all and sort it out after?"

"Because we only have enough power left to turn two more of them," Phil told her. 

"Ah." Natasha crouched down beside him and began studying the birds more closely. 

Ten minutes later, they were still no closer to deciding which one was Clint. Phil was ready to just grab one and try it, but there were nine birds left and they only had two more shots at this. He wasn't going to risk making a mistake.

It would have been easier if Clint could understand them, communicate with them. But none of the birds had shown human-levels of intelligence, and none of them did anything so helpful as respond properly when Phil had talked to Clint. He'd tried everything, from threats to enticements to offering vacations in Maui to a hundred free hours in the shooting range -- to blowjobs for life and home-cooked meals for the same.

He was fairly grateful Black Widow hadn't been there for that part of it, though by now he was growing frustrated and worried enough that he no longer cared. He reached out towards the birds, noting idly that he hadn't really got used to the smell but at least he no longer wanted to run from the room.

"Maybe we should get Tony in here?" Natasha finally said. "He irritates Clint enough that if he can't recognize you, he might at least recognize Stark."

"I'm willing to try anything," Phil said, and he sat down at the edge of the enclosure to wait. Natasha hurried off and Phil just stared at the penguins. There was no chance he was going to leave Clint like this. He would rather hold off on using the last two transformations until he knew for sure.

If it took days, weeks... longer. Phil wasn't going to lose the man he'd only recently admitted he wanted, and wanted to keep forever. He'd not had the chance yet to let Clint know -- they'd had sex in more creative ways than Phil had ever bothered with before, but he knew Clint was after more than just a good time. Phil hadn't told him yet that he felt the same, and the last time Clint had left Phil's bed there had been dark shadows in his eyes: doubt and fear hidden behind casual flirtation and Phil wanted to kick himself for not saying anything then.

He wasn't going to go into the speech now, not since it seemed like the penguins couldn't truly understand him. He wouldn't waste his words until Clint could hear him and understand -- and return the favor, as Phil knew his lover wanted to do. Wasted chances seemed so cliché, and yet here Phil sat, regretting not having said what he felt when he'd had the chance.

Phil held out his hand and one of the penguins came over, rubbing its beak against the mesh wall against his hand. Phil held his breath and waited.

"Are we keeping it?" Clint asked.

From behind him.

Phil looked over his shoulder. Clint was standing there, dressed in his costume and a nearly-full quiver on his back. Phil counted quickly, reflexively, and saw that Clint couldn't have been in any real danger as only five of the arrows were missing.

Phil stood up. "Why aren't you a penguin?"

Clint tilted his head, lips moving as he repeated Phil's question to himself. "I...don't know?" He glanced around, down at the penguins, and his eyes widened. "Are those the rest of the team? Which one is Tony?" Clint grinned.

"No, they're--" Phil stopped. "I'm glad you're not a penguin," he said, and he stepped forward, taking Clint's arm.

Clint just looked mildly bewildered. His expression didn't change much as Phil drew him close, hands on either side of Clint's face, and kissed him. Phil didn't quite let him go before saying, "I love you. You're moving in, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

He felt Clint tense, then relax, then Clint was kissing him back, hard.

Phil heard the walls of the enclosure fall, and a moment later something pecked at his leg. He looked down at the penguin flapping its wings, widely. There was a marking on the back of one of its wings. Phil blinked. 

"Sorry," he said, and he grabbed the transformation device. He aimed it and clicked the trigger, then Steve was sitting on the floor, looking annoyed and trying very hard not to.

"I think I need a shower," Steve said, and he stood up, brushing feathers off his arms. He gave Phil a nod. "It was only me," he said awkwardly. "The rest are just penguins." He turned and left, apparently unaware of the fact both Phil and Clint were staring at him as he walked away, naked.

Clint made a slight squeaking noise, then asked, "Did I miss something?"

Phil shook his head. "Not really."


End file.
